I woke up this morning like every other morning. Got out of bed, showered, got dressed, jumped in my car, and then began the work day. Something didn’t feel right though. As I was heading to work, there were fewer cars on the road. It certainly made the drive much easier, so much faster actually that I was able to stop off at a local coffee shop. To my shock, there was half the line that there normally would be and everyone in the line was ordering straight brewed black coffee. By the time I got to the register, the young gentleman told me that he was worried for the shop. Apparently there were no basic white girls in today to buy those expensive skinny vanilla lattes that keep the coffee shop afloat. I was saddened to hear this, but my watch said that it was time to get to work.
I got to work and it was another business as usual type of day. I jumped on a conference call with the other affluent white men that work for the company as we had our quarterly meeting about how to make poor people buy stuff that would make them poorer. I sipped on my brandy still unaware of what was missing today. I went to lunch and noticed that our secretary, Gertrude, was not in. Instead there was a temp for the day, Justin. He seemed pleasant enough. After lunch, my office of men began working on a new project targeted at those who watch cat videos on the internet. What a fun day in the office.
On my way home, I noticed yet again that there was little traffic on the freeway. I can’t complain because no one in their right minds would enjoy traffic. My wife was at home with the kids. The kids had a substitute because their teacher called in sick. My little Susie said she learned about Capitalism and the free market today. Johnny said he fell down on the playground, but got back up quickly because he’s not a cry baby. My wife went to the store, picked up some groceries and worked from the home office today. She said that the grocery store was near empty, but everyone was at the city hall for some sort of group therapy session. Then it struck me, as I watched the news that night, the reporter said this was something called a day without women. I was baffled by this because the day seemed relatively normal minus the traffic and coffee line. My wife told me that the professional women were of course at work, but the young and those with nothing to do decided to go to the therapy session. It was certainly an interesting day, but I am glad to be home with my loving family.
Well diary, it’s time for bed. I’m not looking forward to traffic tomorrow. At least the coffee shop will get its business back.